Catharsis
by Alexandri
Summary: Ginny certainly didn't expect this when Harry asked her to go to the theatre. Originally written in 2005.


**Title:** Catharsis  
**Author:** Alexandri  
**Pairing:** Harry/Ginny  
**Rating:** PG, it's pretty fluffy.  
**Summary: **Ginny certainly didn't expect this when Harry asked her to go to the theatre.

Ginny sat in the darkened auditorium, grateful for Hermione's reassuring presence and Ron's just-as-nervous-as-Ginny presence. Neither she nor her brother had ever been surrounded by so many muggles at one time and neither was particularly comfortable. But Harry had asked her to come, so she had. She hoped he wouldn't be angry that she'd dragged his two closest friends with her.

She let her mind wander as the woman on stage performed her monologue about shyness. It still struck her as strange that Harry would choose to take acting classes in the Muggle world. When she'd accused him of being taciturn and emotionally unavailable, she'd never expected him to turn to this. But he said it was better than therapy, whatever that was, and he wanted her to come to his class's first performance.

A generous round of applause pulled her out of her thoughts. She clapped politely and watched the woman leave the stage and Harry warily trudge to the vacated chair. He sat, pulled his legs in Indian-style and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his gray hoodie. Ginny couldn't help smiling; Harry had a deep and enduring attachment to hoodies.

"My girlfriend and I had a fight," he began matter-of-factly. Ginny felt her eyes grow huge. Was he going to talk about their private life in front of all these people? "That's how I ended up doing this in the first place. She didn't dare me to do it or anything like that. In fact, she thinks I'm crazy to be doing it. Not that she's ever said so, but I can tell by the perplexed look she always gets whenever I leave for class. The truth is, I...I'm not very comfortable talking about my feelings. After our last fight about it, I decided something needed to change. _I _needed to change. Besides, I reckon this was cheaper than therapy and much more cathartic."

Ginny's mouth dropped. Harry shrugged slightly and glanced down at his lap before staring at the audience. "Growing up, it was usually in my best interests to keep my feelings to myself. Then I became a teenager and went off to school and those years were"—he paused and considered for a moment—"a bit on the perilous side."

Ron snorted beside Ginny. She elbowed him in the side.

"I've always been _emotional_, but often my emotions got me in trouble. I'd act with my heart and not my head and, well, things didn't always turn out for the best. If I could go back and change some things, I would without a second thought. But showing the hurt, pain, and confusion, it was hard. I was supposed to be the strong one. How could I burden everyone else with my angst when...

Harry stopped and gave a little chuckle. Ginny felt like her heart would break. She'd never known he'd felt like that or that he still felt like that.

Harry shrugged. "It's not an easy thing, feeling like the world's resting in your hands and it's up to you to make things right. It's very lonely, even when you have friends, especially when you're hurting and you don't know how to cope with that. What's even more terrifying is opening your heart to people, letting them in, giving yourself to them and then, before you're ready, they're gone. Sometimes I'm afraid that, even now, the people I love are going to be taken away from me. I mean, there aren't any guarantees, right? Anything can happen. I suppose, in many ways, I think my life is still the chaos of my youth and so I don't talk when I should and insist on talking when I shouldn't and it seems I mastered the lessons I thought I should learn. It's easier not to open yourself up to that kind of pain. It's hard, not letting everything show on the surface.

"But being an emotional dunce doesn't mean that I don't appreciate my girlfriend or any of the other people in my life. It doesn't mean I don't love them." A sweet smile flitted across Harry's lips. "I do. I love them. I love _her_. More than I've ever been able to tell her. I want to be able to show her what she means to me. I want to not fight with her about stupid things anymore. Those fights aren't worth losing her.

"So here I am. I'm taking the first steps toward opening up to her, to letting her in. Maybe now that she sees I'm trying, she'll forgive me. I think she'll understand. In the end, all that matters is that I love her and that I'm sorry I can be such an idiot, but that it won't always be like this. One day I'll be the man she's always wanted."

Ginny sat unmoving in her seat, grinning madly as the auditorium burst into applause. As Harry stood and made his way off-stage, she realized she could hardly wait for the other performances to be over. There was nothing she wanted more than to let him know that he was exactly the man she wanted and always had been. Nothing, not even his emotional illiteracy, could ever change that.


End file.
